Like many things in our society, though the role of a mother
is 24/7, we make sure to bring all the focus on her once a year. This is the
one time per year that you should
say “thank you mom,” the one time of year where, as a mother, you may stop and
think “wow—I’m truly blessed.” I’m not trying to say you wouldn’t do this other
times during the year, but really—in our busy lives, how many times do we do
either of these things.
The title of my blog is an obvious one—I’m not a mother. I
don’t say this in bitterness, in sadness, in happiness, or in jealousy. It’s just a fact. I guess I’m continuing in
the trend that in this moment in the year—I’m thinking about motherhood and my
circumstances. Clinton and I have not yet embarked on this part of our lives. I
guess we figure we only get to be young, married, and with no children once in
our lives, right? What’s the rush? In the same token, I see motherhood as that next step in the process. You’re single and you feel out of touch with the married world, you’re married without children and you feel out of touch with the married with children world. I wonder how many times we go through our lives dwelling on what our personal circumstances are NOT when we should focus on what they ARE.
With that sentiment, even though I am a woman and have
potential to become a mother—I don’t want to focus on me. I don’t want to be
recognized of having that potential until it is actually so. Instead, I’d like
to recognize the woman in my life.
My mom
Everybody who meets my mom loves her. She’s quirky and
eccentric, and yet lovable. She's so beautiful too. I remember growing up and watching her get ready to go out. I always thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She has taught me the importance of independence,
self-confidence, thankfulness, and what it means to capture the moment. She has
modeled to me what it means to be an equal partner in a marriage. She has
showed me how to move forward with forgiveness and humbleness in the midst of
mistakes and troubles. She wears her heart on her sleeve, shows compassion and
care, and models Christ’s love on a daily basis. 
I can tell my mom anything and everything. She’s my best
friend and I know she’s a friend that I will never lose. The great thing about
our relationship is that she’s obviously oh so much wiser than me. She can talk
through things I am going through and share how she got through them (or didn’t
get through them) and what she learned from that.
Is she perfect—no, nobody is. Our mother-daughter
relationship has had its fair share of yelling matches and disagreements. I
appreciate her friendship, however, and her steady (and yes, sometimes biased)
advice (= She is always there for me. I love her!
My sister
My sister has been a mother now for two years. She has a
precious daughter that she cherishes. I love watching her be a mother. She
likes to get silly with M and it actually reminds me of my mom. I feel like
I’ve missed a lot of seeing her grow as a mother and M grow up since I’ve been
in Ecuador, but I’m excited to soon be close again and be with both of them! My
sister has always been someone that I look up to. The joke in our family when I
was younger was that when ElisaBeth said something, I would say “me too.”
And while my sister is coaxing me to start motherhood---and
as I said, we’re not quite reading—I know that she’ll be there for me every
step of the way. I admire her ability to balance work and home and her strength
as a woman, mother, daughter, and sister. I really love her!
My Grandma
The past couple of years my Grandma has been dealing with
dementia. This is a very hard process to watch—especially when I was at my
Grandpa’s funeral and she kept asking me who had died. When she realized it was
my Grandpa, she was devastated. Ten minutes later she’d ask again and when
through the devastation again. It was tough.
What I love is that I have amazing memories of my Grandma
when we both were younger. My grandparents moved to Ohio when I was young so
that they could be present in our lives on a daily basis. We went to their
house once and week—there I would cook with my Grandma, sew with her, and play
the organ with my Grandpa. I was blessed to have this time with them as a
child.
About ten years ago, my Grandma wrote down all her recipes
in a book for me. This was when her handwriting was strong and her mind clear.
In it she wrote “I sure hope…you’ll keep it forever so that someday you can say
to you own family ‘My Gram and I used to cook and bake together…” I guess
that’s what I’m doing now. It’s hard to watch someone get older, become frail
and vulnerable. I don’t like this part of growing up—but I do cherish those
memories of when she was at her best. I love her so much!
My Mother-in-Law
When I first met Priscilla, I think I had only been dating Clinton a couple weeks. I was unsure of the “meeting the mom” part of the deal. I remember asking my friend, Joy, to come along with me (= I’ve definitely come a long way from there.
I think through the initial stages of marriage, any
person…male or female…is unsure how to maneuver through their “new” family. You
always hear that saying of “you don’t just marry the person, but you marry the
family.” While that is often said sarcastically and with rolling eyes, I was
blessed to marry Clinton AND become a part of his family.
I would not say that all was easy at first—Clinton’s family
is a boy’s family. I realized quickly that Priscilla enjoyed the presence of
another woman in the midst of it all (= I had to learn the dynamics of the
family and what it meant to have in-laws.
Priscilla has come along side me in my medical issues, she
has talked through with me my struggles and successes in the doctorate process,
and she has taken me to her Zumba class! This summer, we spent a lot of time in
Pennsylvania and she was there for me when I hit a couple bumps in the road.
She encouraged me and showed compassion. Over Christmas, I probably cried more
than once in front of her and she was quick to hug me and comfort me. My mom and
her are very similar in that they are strong-spirited women. I admire Priscilla
for her ability to sustain a family of MEN and for setting a great example as a
woman who has accomplished a lot in her life—both in family and career. I have
really come to love her as a member of my own family.
My Sister-in-Law
This Christmas Clinton’s brother got married to Heather.
Heather and Ted started dating when we were living in New York. After that, we
moved to Ecuador—so again, there are relationships in my life that haven’t had
too much time to develop but I look forward to the future.
I think Priscilla would agree that adding yet another woman
to the family is always a good thing! I don’t know Heather well—but the little
time I have spent with her, I have noticed her joy for life and love for her
own family and for Ted. I am excited to have another sister and to be there for
each other through the journeys of life. I probably get too carried away with
the “big sister” mentality since I am actually a little sister and the idea is
new to me. I look forward to creating and growing a relationship with Heather and
loving her as a sister.
My Grandma
I did not know my mom's mom because she died when I was only a couple months old. From what I've heard about her--she had a rough life. My mom has said, though, that I would have loved her because she was so fun. Through her struggles too, she loved Christ. I'm looking forward to one day meeting her again.
So YES I am thankful for the women in my life!
